Archive for April 2010

Ahhh! One More Thing! Must See!


Here are some sites I just discovered thanks to Manda. They are alot of fun if you're bored, sad, mad, or just want to feel better about your day. I'm addicted!

a sweet website with stories about everyday people and extraordinary kindness.

a site that had hundreds of short stories about compassion and love.

a really fun site about everyday living and fun things that happen to normal people.

a site where people share embarrassing moments, it's really quite funny.

lilBunny, This is for You!


I've got a thing for cute bunny pictures, and thought you may like some of these! (From )

I Hate My Laptop


I just got my laptop back from the manufacturer, they repaired my broken screen. Now, it has a virus and the restart disk I sent in with the computer was wiped. So I had to take it to Manda's husband to see if he can't have a look at it. I'm writing from the library now. I hate being on the Internet at the library, I always feel like someone is reading over my shoulder 0.O

So let's see, not much going on really. Single again, but I'm happy about it. Gives me time to center and focus on myself. I like it. I do miss the company though. But that's what kitties are for :) Daisy isn't doing too well, I don't know if I mentioned it before but the thing I thought was a tumor was actually an infection. Well, I thought I got it cleared up pretty nice, used peroxide and a little antibiotic ointment. But last night I heard her breathing funny, and when I checked on her, she was bleeding, bright red blood. I know that's not a good thing, so I took her into the sink and washed it off as best I could, cleaned the wound and applied as much pressure as she'd let me. I'm afraid is a flesh eating bacteria, so I called the Humane Society that I used to volunteer for and asked how much they'd charge to put her down. I looked up home euthanasia on Google, but it involved CO2, and I'm pretty sure I'd end up euthanizing myself in the process. :/

Today I had to go have a mental evaluation for the Medical I'm applying for. I don't really understand why I needed a mental evaluation for seizures, but whatever gets me help I guess. The lady was really weird, she kept making crazy long eye contact with me, and I didn't know what to do. I had to do some word association stuff. Like, "What do an apple and banana have in common?" I said fruit. "What do an anchor and a fence have in common?" I said....uhhhhhh...? I had to say the months in backwards order, I missed October and Anyway, I hope I never have to do that again.

I rode my bike to the library (bad idea) I forgot how many steep hills are on this street. AND I almost got hit at an intersection. I waited for the cars to turn, I had the signal to walk, and the guy in the wrong turn lane all of the sudden decides he wants to turn over the crosswalk as I am crossing. He's on his cell phone, almost hits me, and then yells profanities out his window. Come on, will it kill you to wait fifteen seconds for me to get out of the way? Oh well. I just smiled and waved.

Mom and I took a walk by the river today, saw some geese and ducks. They had really pretty tulips and I think they're called hyacynths? They're purple and look like little beads strung along the stem. But it was nice. Oh by the way, I live by the Great Miami River. Grown up around it. It's icky in some spots with all the runoff from factories and stuff. Other spots though, are really clean and fun to play and fish in.

OH OH OH! I got to ride on a motorcycle for the first time! It was soooooo much fun. We went to my Mom's friends house and her boyfriend asked if I wanted to go. He's a really big guy, and it was super hard to try to hold onto him lol. He went really fast, and somewhere along the way my phone fell out of my pocket. I had to go back and look for it, and when we found it, it was in pieces. I got it all back together, and it works fine. It's got a few chips in it but I think that gives my cheap little phone character.

So yeah, that's about all I can think of. I'll try to post as often as I can until I get my laptop back (not sure when that will be, may have to send it back to Toshiba). But as always, thanks for reading! Hoping you're days are going smooth :)

Daisy Daisy Give Me Your Answer Do!


Yesterday night I came home from hiking and went to give Daisy (my rat) a treat when I noticed she had a large lump on the left side her of face, right under her ear. It was really big. I've had rodents in the past that have developed tumors so I assumed that's what it was. I cried, because I knew that this might be the end of her long life. I tried to make her as comfortable as possible and went to sleep, hoping that she would go peacefully in her sleep. She was still alive this morning, and I could tell she was uncomfortable, she kept falling over and wouldn't wake up when I petted her. So I put her in her small cage, gave her a bunch of bedding fluff, and made her a bowl of veggies. I noticed she was scratching the lesion with her foot, and then licking it. So I looked closer and realized that there was some really gross stuff coming out of it. I wont go into great detail because it's really nasty and I'm eating ramen noodles right now. hehe. It looks like she cut herself somehow and it got infected. So anyway, I did my best to remove the gross stuff, cleaned out her ear and eyes. I'm going tomorrow to get some peroxide and antibiotic ointment. I hope she'll be ok for the night.

In other news, I haven't had a seizure for about 3 days now. I'm still having the shaking and near fainting episodes but I'll settle for that. Oh oh oh! I made my first meal all by myself today! This is kind of a big deal for me because my cooking expertise ends at the microwave. I made Onion baked chicken, and lemon zest asparagus. I put a little too much lemon and olive oil and the asparagus but other than that, it was reeeeaaaallllyyy good. I'm pretty smug about it :)

Tomorrow I'm going to go see Kick-Ass (hopefully). It looks pretty good. I'll post a whole movie review about it tomorrow night. I'm sure you're all so excited. :P Manda broke her trim and tire today when she jumped a curb on the way home from work. I love that girl so much, but I've given up, and decided if we crash, the doctors will find a way to save me. Haha! (I love you Manda.) Cory bought me the first edition of this comic book, its called The Guild. It originally started as an independent YouTube channel, and evolved into this big thing. If you're into gaming, you should really check it out.

Well, that's it for now. Gonna finish my ramen and surf the web a little before bed. Hope everyone had a really great day!

I'm Running Out of Things to Write as Titles


Okay, so my life derailed for a moment but as of now it's back on track. I'm sorry I keep missing posting everyday, mostly sorry to myself because that is something I really wanted to do. But my laptop has a virus, and even when I try to wipe the hard drive with the restart disk, it creates an administrator account with a password that I don't know. I think I'm going to have to send it back to the manufacturer and see if they'll fix it. Hopefully so since my laptop is still under warranty. (Thanks Dad!)

Anywho, today was a good day. I'm trying to eat healthier and exercise more, in the hopes that maybe it will improve my health and I won't have to rely on medication. I have to admit that I am getting sick of salads. If anyone knows of any low calorie/sodium recipes, let me know, I would really appreciate it :)

I went for a hike today with Cory and Precious. It was alot of fun. We got Precious to play in the river, she only lasted a little while though. The water was freezing and the current was really fast, it nearly knocked me off me feet. Then, I came back to Cory's and gave Precious a bath, she was filthy.

So yesterday I went to the Job Center (government benefits office) to see what was going on with my application for Medicaid. I feel bad having to rely on government assisted health care, but you would not believe how expensive some of the stuff is that I have to do. Anyway, they said it would take six months to a year for me to even be considered because of my application for social security benefits. How messed up is that? I mean by that time I was hoping to have found a solution and be in school and working.

So yeah. Here are some pictures from today I thought I would share. Hope everyone had a great day!

Cory and I being goofy

This really cool tree

Precious and I after she went swimming

My puppy in a bunch of clover and yellow flowers

A Few Words.


Sorry I haven't posted in so long, I've has a rough few days. I don't really feel like talking about it, so I figured I just say a few words.

My mom is an alcoholic and we had a fight.

I'm angry.

I feel bad because Mom and Kate have to take care of me.

The reason my ex and I broke up was because I didn't tell him everything about my medical issues because I didn't want to put another person through all this.

I'm sick of being sick and I'm trying really hard to be better.

I went to Cory's (my ex) house the day Mom and I had that bad fight and he took me and my puppy to charleston falls and I had a wonderful day, and I love him.

I am completely mixed up, and having a minor breakdown, and I'm sorry, I don't want everyone to think I am complaining, so please, bear with me.

Smelly White Flowers


Today was a great day, and it's not over yet! I'm at Manda's house, chillin. I felt pretty good today, and went to the mall with my little sister Kate. We walked around and got smoothies, and I helped her pick out some new jewelry, splurged and got myself a new nose ring. Then, headed to the grocery to buy a bunch of junk food for Manda and I. Pepsi, doughnuts and Doritos, hello sugar high!

I took my rat, Daisy out for a run in the grass since it was kinda nice out. She's almost four years old, and I realized today that I will be absolutely heartbroken when she passes. I know it's silly, she's just a little rat, but she's my baby. While outside, I went around picking some flower buds off the trees and when I got to these white ones, I took a sniff and almost got sick. They smelled the formaldehyde. How do I know what that smells like? My senior year of high school I took an anatomy course, and had to dissect a cat. It was a 10 day project, and by the end of that ten days, that thing smelled awful. (My project was pregnant by the way. Sad I know.) But yeah, I was so disturbed that something so pretty could smell so terrible.

Oh my gosh, I almost forgot. As I was getting groceries out of the trunk earlier, I pulled down on the lid and hit my Mom so hard on the head, she nearly passed out. I felt soo bad, I was in tears. She's OK now though, apart from the large lump on her head. It's a little funny in retrospect.

Ok, that's all for today, by the way, thanks everyone for the helpful comments, I really appreciate them :)

Yucky Day


Today was a really bad anxiety day. I couldn't get out of bed until 5, and even then I was still dizzy and having heart palpitations. Sometimes I get to feeling really sorry for myself, thinking about all the bad things,and crying over little things that I can't have, like a normal day. But then I have to remind myself of all the things I do have. I have legs that walk, lungs that breathe, lips that smile, a roof over my head and a bed to sleep in at night. It helped alot to have such a beautiful day outside! It was so warm, I laid with my kitten in the sun on the floor of the kitchen for a few hours..haha.

Tomorrow I'm going to attempt to visit a friend, I really hope I feel better! I'm going to see my friend Manda. She's alot of fun, she is my complete opposite. She loves to talk and is really outgoing. She's married to Scott, a mutual friend of ours hehe, they make each other really happy. She just got out of the hospital a few days ago, she has pancreatitis,and it causes her sugar to fluxuate really low really fast.


So I just ended a one year relationship with the guy I thought I was going to marry. Turns out he's just a controlling and manipulative jerk. He was always accusing me of cheating, which believe me I would never do. I know how it feels to have been cheated on, and I'd never do that to another human being. But yeah, if i didn't call him every two hours he would flip out, saying I was with someone else. And when my seizures starting getting really bad and I couldn't visit as much, he would tear my head off. He was calling and texting and e-mailing me constantly, one minute saying how sorry he was and how much he missed me, and the next leaving nasty voice mails about what a terrible person I was. But I am very happy to report that the harassment has stopped! Yay!

I did attempt t get back out there and go on a date with a guy I knew from work. He took me out to Starbucks, we both ordered, and when it came time to pay, he had to go to the bathroom and stuck me with the bill. Then we went to the mall ( I hate going to the mall and seeing things I cant buy!) we were there for maybe two minutes and then he wanted to leave. He kept bumming cigarettes off of me, and then had the nerve to ask me if he could borrow $50. I'd had it. I had to stop him and explain to him that I, having lost my job, have no income. I decided to give him another chance, and he said he take me out this evening. He offered to take me to a bar, but I cant drink because of the medication I'm on. He then asked if I would like to come watch him get drunk anyway. I haven't heard from him since last night, and I don't mind a bit!

So yep. That's my exciting day. Hope yours was much better!

Well Hello There!


Wow, my shiny new blog :)

I dont really know where to start, so I guss I'll start with why I decided to start blogging.

I like to read about other people and what they have to say. I enjoy reading people's blogs, from the ones that read like soap operas - to the ones that just talk about everyday life. It's nice to know that people everywhere go through the same struggles and triumphs as I do. So I figured, "Hey, I bet someone would like to read about me!" Hopeless I know. So, yep.

Umm..what else what else..

Well I guessI'll tell you a little about myself. I'm Amber. I'm 21, and I'm hoping to go to college in the fall for photography, but I'm positive I'll change my mind by then. I live at home with my mother Tina, and younger sister Kate. I have an as-of-yet undiagnosed seizure disorder, so I have to live at home, can't drive or go out alone and blah blah blah. I'm an Aquarius, and I'm very proud of that. I'm an animal lover, and a big fan of the arts. And I'm sure you're sick of reading all of this. haha!

So yeah, if youre reading this, thanks! I'm going to try to post something every day if I can.